ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?

There are various types of personalities in this world but I have found that most, but certainly not all, people fall into one of the following two categories:

GIVERS:  People who are willing to help others, even if they know the person/people are TAKERS, and give to the detriment of their own well being.

TAKERS:  People who take from GIVERS, without any remorse, and usually find a way to justify their behavior by blaming the GIVER for some wrong doing and may even go so far as to say that they deserve to be taken.

This is a "thought" piece!  Are you a GIVER or a TAKER?  Or do you fall somewhere in-between?

FAILURES IN LIFE

"Do not dwell on past failures or it will ruin your future." -AUDREY PHILLIPS-

When I play golf and don't like my first tee-off ball, I take a "mulligan" in the hopes that the second ball will land in a better place. 

I would like a "mulligan" regarding my life...BUT...I can't.  Failure can be good for you.  It humbles you, makes you think twice before making decisions, and is simply a flaw in the behavior of human beings.  Everyone makes mistakes and I have been blessed with a lot of people in my life who make sure that I never forget them.

I agree that there are some mistakes worse than others, say murdering someone in comparison with hurting someone's feelings.  Nevertheless, a person needs to go forward in life and not dwell on their mistakes.  I am not talking about refusing to feel remorse but am talking about not beating yourself down into a rubble.

Learn from your mistakes and vow to do better.  Concentrate on the future and do not sit and dwell on the mistakes you have made or it will cripple your ability to be successful in future endeavors.

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS

"There are two kinds of people in the world - those who walk into a room and say, 'There you are.' - and those who say, 'Here I am!' -ABIGAIL VAN BUREN -

The secret of success for a person who has a lot of friends is that they are more concerned about what is going on in their friend's lives than they are in their own.  A person who says, "Here I am," thinks that they are the most interesting person in the room/world.

What I have learned over the years is to ask questions of other people and draw them into the conversation.  People are usually pleased to find that someone is interested in their lives, whether boring or interesting.  I am usually interested in what most people have to say.  It is very frustrating to try and talk with someone who totally dominates the conversation.

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

While I am not admitting to being old because:

"Age is not a handicap.  Age is nothing but a number.  It is how you use it." -ETHEL PAYNE-

I refuse to accept that age hinders a person from doing anything.  In fact, I am far more intelligent and maybe even more ambitious than I was at twenty, even if most young people would disagree with me.

Of course, it helps to stay in a "young frame of mind" if a person takes care of themselves by eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep at night.  Adversity, which everyone has to varying degrees, will age a person.  The following has worked for me:

"That which does not kill me makes me stronger." -FRIEDRICH WILHELM NIETZSCHE-

Trust me, I have had enough adversity to kill a horse, as the old saying goes.  One cannot become strong until they have went through the fires encountered in life.  In the fire, you have two choices:  to succumb and have a continual pity party or to rise above the problems.  So far, I have risen above the problems.

I am so busy living life to the fullest that I don't have time to have a pity party.  I am always busy, by choice and sometimes by the requests of others.  Staying busy is the key to staying young, in your heart at least.  I am like Lillian:

"Every time I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens. -LILLIAN CARTER-

I am thankful that something else always happens to me because it keeps life interesting and makes me feel alive.  

GOSSIP

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about.
 -OSCAR WILDE-

I hate gossip although I have to fight against doing it myself sometimes.  Having been the victim of a lot of gossip, I absolutely hate it.  It ruins lives.

I was thrilled to be able to move from my last location because I felt as if I lived amongst people who lived to gossip, as if it was as necessary to them as breathing.  The problem with gossip is that it might, and might not, have a grain of truth to it but becomes more tantalizing and erroneous as it spreads.

Once, when complaining about the gossip that my family was enduring, a friend's answer was similar to the quote above.  "The gossipers must think that your family is important or they would not be interested enough to gossip about you."  As well meaning as it sounded, it didn't help.

Thankfully, I now live in a place where I rarely hear a breath of gossip.  I live amongst people who want to support and help you, not gossip about you. 

JUDGING PARENTING SKILLS

The following quote is not always the case but is true in too many cases:

"Children begin by loving their parents.  After a time they judge them.  Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." -OSCAR WILDE-

Being a people watcher, a prerequisite for any writer, I have noticed that when children are dissatisfied with the way they were raised by their parents, and grow up to become parents themselves, they usually justify their own imperfect parenting skills.  Somehow, they are very judgmental regarding the way they were raised by their parents but they cut themselves a wide berth of mercy for the mistakes they make in raising their own children. 

THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP

"Friendship is by its very nature freer of deceit than any other relationship we can know because it is the bond least affected by striving for power, physical pleasure, or material profit, most liberated from any oath of duty or constancy." - FRANCINE DU PLESSIX GRAY-

How true this is of a real friendship.  If one belongs to a social group of so-called friends, just because they are lonely or simply want to "fit in" for whatever reason, the quote above might not apply.  Social groups are usually controlled or led by the most agressive or influential people in the group and there is usually some sort of adjenda for belonging to the group.

However, a true friend, or friends, is/are there when you need them.  They do not try to "one up you," gossip behind your back, are ready to help when you have a problem, supports you through your emotional trials, and accepts you unconditionally...warts and all.

Thankfully, I have some "real" friends but the following quote sadly sums up many people's lives:

"One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible." -HENRY BROOKS ADAMS-

I feel like the following quote:

"My friends are my estate." -EMILY DICKINSON-

THE TRAGEDY OF JAPAN

I am sure everyone feels compassion for the people of Japan.  There is so much news regarding this matter that I don't feel as if I should add anything to this subject.

One thing to contemplate:  The act of forgiveness!  Does anyone remember Pearl Harbor in 1941?  How wonderful it is to get past that terrible period of time, with them becoming an ally of the United States.  The US is ready, willing and able to help them overcome this recent tragedy.  It is well to think about the following quote:

"The weak cannot ever forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
-MOHANDAS K. GANDHI-